We Seek After
These Things
Recently returned from serving the people of Honduras for 3 years

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Just Rambling on . . .

(Late addition)
While I was rambling on over here,
Andrea was raving about a similar subject here.
"I do - a Case for Marriage" - Newsweek magazine
I would rant and rave myself - but she has done it soooo well!
"Newsweek vs The Proclamation"
Stop by for a look see

Whew! I've concluded this week (I'm sure many of you have come to this same conclusion ages and ages ago) that life is just one project after another and then you die :)

And I don't mean that in a negative way at all, it's just you finish something up and without a breather it's on to the next big thing.

Norm and I had a first for us this week, in our 30 years of marriage. Wow! I can hardly even think it, not to mention writing about it. That is a long time! (And I am REALLY old!)

We spoke together at a Fireside last Sunday evening.

Explanation for my non LDS friends and readers-

Firesides are informal gatherings of Church members and friends, often in
homes or other congenial surroundings, as if around a fire. The premises are
that the home is sacred ground and that all members are to "teach one another"
and share experiences and training, that "all may be edified of all and that
every man may have an equal privilege". Typically, firesides feature a single
speaker reporting new developments, insights, or interesting experiences.

And what did we speak on after our 30 years of marital experience but the importance of nurturing your marriage relationship. Frankly, we were wondering what we could possibly offer on the subject, and to be honest, I wondered during those first few weeks of contemplating the subject whether we would need "counseling" of some sort before we were finished.

(images borrowed from my previous post - Blast from the Past - our journey)

We discovered there were many things we did rather well, yet there was much that could be improved upon. You would think with the kids all out of the house, we would have nothing to do but focus upon each other. (I know - I thought that once upon a time myself - what else is there besides KIDS??) Life pulls you in a million different directions - church callings, (that's what we call service in our church) both Norm and I serve in our church in positions that require a great deal of time, Norm is over all the Young Single Adults in our area (though he has many that labor along with him) and I serve with the women as the President of the Relief Society.

(Relief Society is the auxiliary of our church created for women. At the very
first Relief Society meeting Emma Smith, wife of Joseph Smith, exclaimed, “We
are going to do something extraordinary!” It is now one of the oldest and
largest women’s organizations in existence and has been doing extraordinary
things for more than 150 years.)

Then you have to take into account we frequently pass each other on the freeway in our comings and going from work as I work at night as an RN and my husband at his office each day. Meanwhile you try to fit in all the extraneous activities, yard, home, garden, cooking, cleaning, pets (we have many), children (we still DO have them :)

It's no wonder that marriage is like a canoe in the middle of the river, it seldom stays in one place, if not moving upstream due to the efforts of the partnership, it frequently strays downstream swayed by the currents of life that move around and over it.

Why am I mentioning all this prolonged rambling along? Now, I thought I'd give you the secret in a nutshell . . . . shush . . . you ready for this . . . it's time. That commodity that none of us ever seem to have enough of. And believe it or not the quality of the time is vitally important also. We discovered that . . .

  • A little bit of nurturing goes a long way.

  • Daily prayer and gospel study together creates a stronger spiritual bond

  • Regular and frequent activities together as a couple go a long way to reduce the stresses of life, fatigue and overcommitment (a common situation today!)

  • Regular expressions of "I love you" and "thank you" are not difficult. If they are, perhaps you're not practicing them frequently enough.

No big secrets here, just a need for commitment to make them a priority every day. It's easier said than done, but with a little bit of nurturing we can experience the time honored adage that "love begets love" and find ourselves in a stronger more enduring relationship.

Okay . . . done rambling for now . . .


Clairity said...

Not only does your rambling make a lot of sense, it's also a good reminder for folks who are always rushing about. Thanks, I needed that.

Clairity said...

Oops forgot to let you know, I have an award for you here.

Sue said...

Great stuff, Kristin. I wish we could have been there to hear it in person!


Reeses Pieces said...

I love your post about Norm below. I don't know him well but I do know the times I've been around him he's made me feel like I've known him all my life and that is such a wonderful talent to have...the both of you are that way. I love it!

Andrea Jolene said...

Thanks for the honorable mention!

Joy For Your Journey said...

That was fun to read! Congrats on your talk. My husband and I are celebrating our 28th anniversary today!! We are headed out in a few minutes on our date. I totally agree with your recipe for success. Time is important. I think the best thing we did is 16 years ago when he was called to be a bishop, we started going to lunch every Wednesday for a midweek date. We still do it and love it. We also go out every weekend as well. And I wait up for him on Tuesdays after his meetings to visit. Those three little things have actually been huge for our relationship.

Congrats on your 30 years!!

Jackie said...

Lincoln and I would agree, the two of you are fantastic! Love you guys!

M-Cat said...

For a rambling post, this was fabulous!

Splenda and I have 26 years this August and I love the canoe analogy. So true!

Molly said...

those are great words of wisdom, I liked the peek into your wedding album!!!

Momza said...

Thanks for two things:
the awesome counsel!
for wearing a huge bridal hat when you were married! I did too, and my kids wonder why on earth I did that--
it was the style back then!!
{shudder} lol
Thanks Kristin!

Shewinn8 said...

LOVED LOVED LOVED this post. And what a adorable picture of you and your husband. Love the smiles. :)

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